DESCRIPTION

DESCRIPTIVE PASSAGES

1. USE SUBJECT – VERB – OBJECT
JOHN SHOOTS MARY

2. SHOULD BE SHORT – FOUR OR FIVE LINES

3. BREAK UP INTO PARAGRAPHS.

THINK OF A SHOT WITHOUT WRITING THE SHOT.

USE DIFFERENT SHORT PARAGRAPHS FOR EVERY DESCRIPTIVE PASSAGES YOU WANT YOUR READER TO SEE.

IT’S YOUR WAY TO DIRECT THE DIRECTOR WITHOUT CROSSING THE LINE.

4. ELIMINATE EVERY UNNECESSARY WORD OR PHRASE IN YOUR DESCRIPTIVE PASSAGES

FOR A FIGHT SCENE YOU CAN SAY -- THEY FIGHT.

WILL FREE YOU FROM DESCRIBING MINUTE DETAIL –
DO IT IN A FEW QUICK STROKES.



5. AVOID MODIFIERS IN DESCRIPTIVE PASSAGES

LOUIS B MAYER TOLD FITZGERALD, “WE CANNOT SHOOT ADJECTIVES.”

DON’T NEED THEM – INSTEAD, GIVE US A CLEAR ACTION.


6. WHEN SETTING UP A SCENE DON’T TELL US EVERYTHING WE’D INFER ON OUR OWN.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

The room is full of chairs, desks, and blackboards.

WE KNOW HOW A CLASSROOM LOOKS

7. DON’T TELL US ANYTHING WE DON’T ABSOLUTELY NEED TO KNOW
The beautiful princess enters the room

WE KNOW PRINCESSES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BEAUTIFUL


8.. REVEAL INFO AT THE EXACT MOMENT WE NEED IT UNLESS IT IS A PLANT FOR LATER

WE WON’T NOTICE INFO OR DETAIL UNTIL THEY COME INTO PLAY

IF A CHARACTER FALLS ON A BED, DESCRIBE THE BED WHEN THE CHARACTER FALLS

8. DON’T TELL US ANYTHING THE AUDIENCE HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING

WE WOULDN’T KNOW A CHARACTER IS THINKING ABOUT HIS CHILDHOOD IN AN ORPHANAGE.

THIS SHOULD BE SET UP IN THE STORY SO AN ACTION OCCURS THAT MAKES US THINK WHAT THE CHARACTER MAY BE THINKING.


9. NO TELLING THOUGHTS. VOICE OVER ONLY AFTER YOUR FILM IS SHOT IF POSSIBLE.

10. DON’T TELL US WHAT WE’RE ABOUT TO SEE.

John and Mary sit discussing murder

JOHN
What do you know about he murder?

11. DON’T DESCRIBE EVERY MOOD OR GESTURE YOUR CHARACTER MAKES
NODS, SMIRKS

BUT YOU CAN REPLACE A GESTURE FOR A LINE.


12. AVOID JARGON IN DESCRIPTIVE PASSAGES

YOU MIGHT KNOW SPECIFIC DETAILS ABOUT GUNS, ENGINES, ART, PAINTING, BALLET BUT USE ENOUGH DETAIL TO GIVE THE READER ENOUGH TO PROVE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOUR SCRIPT IS NOT AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW YOUR KNOWLEDGE.

13. DON’T OVER DESCRIBE CHARACTER DESCRIPTION. YOU WON’T CHOOSE THE ACTOR.
TELL US THE CHARACTER NAME AND EXACT AGE

JOHN, 22, enters

IF THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL WE NEED TO KNOW POINT TN OUT.
.
ROSIE, 45, the truck stop waitress from hell, enters.




14. ORCHESTRATION OF CHARACTERS –

VARY YOUR CHARACTERS. DON’T MAKE THEM ALL THE SAME AGE, WEIGHT, HEIGHT RACE, ECT.